On March 30th of this year, I weighed myself. I was 341 pounds. I was so disgusted with myself.
Where did I go wrong?
At the end of 2011, I was getting over a terrible breakup and a bad drug addiction to pain pills. I decided to focus on a diet and workout plan. I was 333 pounds when I decided to start. From then to the end of May of 2013, I lost over 100 pounds. I was 229 pounds.
The day I lost that weight, I got a text. I was at the gym and the texter wanted to know if I wanted pain pills. As an addict, I greedily accepted. Everything went to shit again. I regained weight and I was back to being the same fat bastard I was before. All my hard work was thrown away for the euphoria of that bitter sweet pill.
It wasn’t just my addiction to drugs that caused my weight gain, but my addiction to overeating. I could eat piles of food at a time. An extra large pizza and a footlong meatball sub? No problem. Two triple cheeseburgers, a large fry, a large cherry coke, and chicken nuggets? Easily devoured.
In August of 2013, I decided to once again step away from painkillers. I decided to refocus on my future. I was a fat unemployed high school dropout and I wanted to remedy that problem, even if it meant taking baby steps.
Immediately, I enrolled in classes to earn my GED. During the studying, I was asked by someone else if I wanted pills, but I never answered their text. Nothing was going to stand in my way of bettering myself.
By November of 2013, I took the test and passed with flying colors. Math was my enemy and my only real focus and I made sure to study my ass off so it wouldn’t hold me back. Earning my GED diploma isn’t the same as earning a college degree, but it meant the world to me. It was one goal accomplished and a giant monkey off my back.
In July of 2014, I was offered a job at a retail store. I was scared to death because it had been a really long time since I had a job. I made my promise to myself that I wouldn’t quit. If I got fired, so be it, but I wanted to see it through the end. No more quitting. I’m still there. Just a few months shy of being there for two years. I even got a pay raise last week and I’ve been saving up to lease a brand new car.
Since quitting the pain pills, I tried losing weight, but lost motivation quickly. That was until last month. Like I said, I was 341 pounds. I couldn’t believe I let myself go like that. On March 31st, I decided to go on a low calorie diet and I slowly transitioned into working out. As of today, I lost 33 pounds and I weigh 308. I have such a long way to go, but I have no plans to stop. Painkillers are no longer in my way. I’ve been sober of them for nearly three years and if offered, I would tell that person to piss off.
My health is a reason for the weight loss, but more than anything, it’s my self esteem. I want to build a better me. I look in the mirror and I am so disgusted with how I look. I used to date girls all the time, but now none of them want anything to do with me. I look hideous and who can blame them? Girls lie about wanting a guy with a good personality and a good heart. What they really mean is that they want a good looking guy with a good personality and a good heart.
We live in a shallow world. I’m not saying that’s good or bad, I just know that’s how things are. We either adapt or we suffer. I decided to adapt. I’ll get into that a bit more in a later entry.
So to conclude, this blog is to report my progress, discuss current thoughts, and reminisce about the past. By February of 2017, my plan is to have a new car and be in the greatest shape of my life. After that, it’s off to advance my career.
If anybody is reading, I hope you’ll join me on this crazy adventure. Let’s get to know each other and maybe, just maybe, encourage each other if we share any of the above mentioned goals.