I finally made it past the 60 mark. It’s now 61 pounds lost since March 31st. I keep grinding and I keep succeeding. I’m still dissatisfied. I have this giant chip on my shoulder and my boss/friend can see that I’m angrier and less inclined to take anyone’s shit. She thinks I am building more confidence, but I don’t think it’s that. I’m just sick of being looked over and disrespected so instead of expecting respect, I’m taking it.
Look at me, I’m no one special. I’m below average looks wise, but I’m working on it. Maybe that’s it. I want to be desired, I want to be worth something to people. People say there’s nothing to prove to anyone, but ourselves, but I call bullshit. It’s a fancy little saying, but it’s a lie. Whether we admit it or not, we want to be respected and admired. At least by the ones who count to us. Being coy about it is just useless posturing.
My hand is fully healed so I am able to lift again. I hate that it took three weeks, but at least it got better.
Anyway, I don’t have much to say. Nobody reads my tripe anymore, but I wanted to write something so I remember this moment and what my frame of mind was. To those who do read…thanks.