So I left off that I had a date a few months back. It was okay. Nice girl, but I didn’t feel anything. Not that I expected to and especially so soon, but my head just wasn’t in it. I went on a few dates after that. One girl I clicked with. We eventually had a sex and that complicated things because she started developing feelings and I wasn’t.
There was one girl who did really hold my interest for a second, but she just got out of a relationship like me and wasn’t ready. There were others I talked to, but I kinda just stopped talking to them. I was more focused on getting myself better than trying to invest in getting to know someone new. Dating is exhausting even if it’s casual.
Then something weird happened. About a month ago, my ex texted me asking if I hated her. She was drunk. I told her I didn’t hate her, but I didn’t particularly care that she dumped me after everything I’ve done for her and her kids. The conversation turned ugly. A few weeks later I texted her and the conversation was more civil. We planned to hang out, but I wasn’t ready and canceled. She texted me yesterday and we’ve come to terms to become fuck buddies. I told her I’d do it under the condition that it’s just sex. No dinner, seeing a movie, or hanging out with friends. We fuck and that’s it. It’s all I can handle at this point. She doesn’t deserve anything else after what she did.
I’m waiting until the summer to go back into the dating world. I want to look better before reintroducing myself back into that world.
Hoping for the best.