So yesterday, I went over to my Ex’s house and we had passionate sex. Like 3 times in one hour. It’s been a little less than three months since we’ve seen each other. I played it cool. Actually, I was just cool. I felt calm and not nervous like I used to be around her. It felt so good. I missed the way she tastes and how she smells. I think her pheromones have me under a spell.
After I left, she texted me, saying that maybe the fuck buddy thing wasn’t a good idea. I asked why and she told me it reminded her of how good things used to be. She misses the way we were and how we’d spend time with her two wonderful kids and how bad she feels that it didn’t work out. I told her I respect her decision, but things don’t have to end. I talked her out of ending our casual thing and I think she still has feelings for me. Honestly, I still have them for her, but something is different. A good different.
I used to be so insecure around her. In part, I was fresh from losing a lot of weight and not feeling like I was good enough. After not seeing her for a few months, getting back out there, and improving myself, I feel more confident. I don’t have the same anxieties I had before.
Later that night, she texted me photos of her and the kids at an event they were at. I have to admit, I beamed a giant smile. Whatever this is, it feels good.
I don’t know where we are headed, but I like where both of us are headed. Mistakes were made on both ends. It’s best to take it slow, but I think she still has feelings for me and I have them for her. We are drawn to each other like magnets.
In other news, I am now at 252 lbs. I am loving the progress.
Until next time.