So I’m 1/4th of the way to my goal and making good time. I’m now 251 lbs and I believe I’ll be down to at least 249 by tomorrow. Maybe I can get down to 248 or 247 by Saturday.
Speaking of Saturday….
Saturday is my birthday and I’m spending it with my Ex and her kids. Last Saturday, we had sex and she asked me to come over again on Sunday for it. We made plans to have sex on Easter and next Wednesday. She’s been texting me every day. I’m still trying to read her because she isn’t so obvious with things. She isn’t as expressive and that’s just her personality.
When I see her kids, I hope I don’t get too emotional. I’m afraid I might tear up because I have missed them so much. All I know is that I’m going to give them great big hugs and kisses.
I’m still in love with her and I need to be careful. I don’t know where her head is at and I’m afraid to ask in case I don’t like the answer. I’m playing a high risk game and I know it.
It’s been giving me anxiety because I want this to work. I never felt this way about anyone and I think we are meant to be together. I think my insecurities get in the way of things and I won’t let that happen again. The one escape is my training. It motivates me and improves my self-esteem. Gotta a lot of work to do though.